A Million

A few words made you mine…

A few words made you fall in love with me..

A few moments that made you feel surreal..

A few days you wished you didn’t want to be, but together we got through them like we always did…

Days and years passed, you did good and I did bad..

I watched you leave me, I watched you walk, I watch you fall in love with someone else…

A million words wouldn’t bring you back,

I know because I tried..

A million tears wouldn’t bring you back,

I know because I cried..

A million moments wouldn’t bring you back,

I know because I stayed, because I waited..

I watched you leave me, I watched you walk, I watch you fall in love with someone else…

Fairytale

I walked down in a white suit with a perfect blue bow around my collar through the garden of roses,

alone in search of something that could fill my void in my chest.

Long waits and endless exploration, all I did was search for a light to brighten my darkness.

In the distance I saw a beautiful princess in a white unicorn with a brave look that made me feel protected.

She swept me off my feet and promised to build a kingdom one day that we ruled together.

She was the shining the sun of the kingdom where we grew happiness and love, she was the life that sustained me.

I was living in my own fairytale, I swear I fell in love every time you looked at me,

Looked at me like you loved me as many stars that existed.

I didn’t wait for the world to be ready for me to fall in love with your strong heart.

The darkness was starting to be my friend and you came a lit my way,

picked me up and showed me that monsters in my head can be fought.

I was on an expedition to find my one true love, I found that love in you.

You were my warrior who fought my demons and guided me like a compass.

You walked in to my life and stole my heart with the first smile.

I swear every word I said was like a love poem I wrote for you.

I just want to love you, wipe those tears, and kiss those lips.

I swear to keep you safe like you did through the years.

I walked down in a white suit with a perfect blue bow around my collar through the garden of roses,

with your fingers entangled through mine, with your lips on mine.

You walked me through a dream, to let me go..

Everything changed through a blink of an eye,

The night turned cold in our kingdom,

Life turned to death,

My life started to slip through the cracks of our broken relationship.

I look up to the stars knowing how much you loved me, believing that you still do.

The ink in my pen runs dry writing how I feel, how the pain is killing me.

As I write those words,

I walked down in a white suit with a perfect blue bow around my collar through the garden of roses,

hoping I could find you again.

Heartbreak and Jealousy

Heart break is an emotional pain that feel so physical,

that everything that makes it real; seems to hurt.

Your heart feels so full that will explode in to a thousand,

yet feels so hollow that you wish you just didn’t exist.

I want to stop feeling this way, I want to stop the jealousy and pain.

I just want to sleep so I don’t feel;

maybe sleeping forever can help ease the pain.

I try to stay strong and fierce for those whose trying to move on,

but deep down all I do is greave the broken soul that I own.

I scream and shout to ease the pain,

but there is no one to hear my agonizing pain.

I don’t believe in God, But the only faith I trust is in love.

jealousy is the twisted feeling that grows

and the suicidal feeling never seems to go.

how can someone so perfect for me be the one that’s killing me.

I want to be with you,

but its too good to be true.

you left me with a thought that changed my gut,

but our love turned into a venom that now runs through my heart .

In the name of Love

I am what the society calls a freak,

I hated who I was,

The hatred and name calling made me distance myself from me and see myself as “Freak”.

Years later, I met the light that changed my life, She walked into my darkness with a torch, she lit my sadness with a thought.

She taught me to embrace myself because she loved me for who I really was,

She endured my lowest point, my darkest side;

She brought me back to life.

There came a day in my life, she turned off that light.

I turned from a freak to a monster, I broke everything that meant to me.

They say your past reflects into the future, I didn’t believe in that, till the day she left me because she was scared of who I really was.

I know I did wrong, I know I broke your heart, I know I did it in the name of love.

Its really hurts watching you leave me for a charming prince who swept you off your feet with a promise that melts your heart.

I stay behind watching you fall in love with a man who you barely know, when you take his name, your eyes reflect with the belief he is the man who came down from heavens above to save you from me.

I stay to watch you leave because I know I deserve every part the pain.

In the end,

I was just the monster who blew out the light of your torch in the name of love.

I Left

The darkness of the shadow that fell upon my memory, marked the day a silent death took my soul.

I stood at ease, fell to my knees, to watch you pass through me..

My pride, my ego and the truth, the lies abandoned me through the hell of lonely ways.

Trying to reminisce the love for you, now haunts me of the battle scars that hurts you.

I tried to run, I tried to hide, I tried to bury my soul behind just to hear you say goodbye.

I left it all.

I left with none.

I left on a journey to find me.

Fading Love

What did I do so wrong? That you look at me all wrong…
I walked in, not knowing what I feel, watching you fade into a different real…
Staying in the back and not making eye contact,
watching you cave into the love that is gonna break.
I see what you feel, I need for what you desire… But you dug those feeling so deep that it’s hard to decipher.

I can give all that you need, I can change the way you feel, but I made a promise to watch you heal and to pick you up when you kneel.

Hurting myself in silence is better than watching your tears fall right through me.

Watching You Leave

I have no strings left to hold you back,
I have no promises, no future to call you back.
I gave my all, to watch you leave;
I have done bad, I have done harm,
I know I deserve every bit of the pain, yet I cry to watch you leave..

I pass your heart to someone else with the risk of watching it break and secrecy of owning it.

Have I done any better than the rest?
I broke your heart and I scared your soul,

I don’t deserve to be the one who loves you the most.

You

You are my destination, you are my journey,

You are my miracle infused in my call for magic;

You make me love your flaws like they are your perfections.

You make my skies look for its horizons in you to lean on to,

Your smile has carved into my heart like a prayer for good will; My bare soul belongs to you as much as it doesn’t belong to me.

Never can our ties be made on earth, but I believe it was made in the sky where the stars shine for us.

I will cherish all your smiles, pain and tears like they are a reward.

My love are the wings I give you to lift you to the open sky above.

You are my destination as much as you are my journey.

Nothingness

Silent as the night turns, the mind dwells into the unknown… venturing through the dark to find the light of the broken..
Looking for the unknown presence creeping through the dark.
Halted;
To hear the unknown closer than the mind can feel. Anxious as if may seem…

There is someone out there lurking behind you’re open eyes..

I saw the monster under my bed. I looked into its eyes.
I sensed home.
It’s feeding on the sanity.
Bleeding out the insanity.
Craving.
Yearning; the last bit of the living life.
Pulling you deeper in,
Sucking you into the dark hole of nothingness.
Darkness.
Black.
Nothing.
Me.

Searching for the reflection in the eyes of the monster.
I saw me.

Monsters

Monsters reap the dying souls..
To avenge the living dead..

To love or to hate the rotting humanity reflects the reek of the dead..
To inflect the severity of the bleeding wounds that ripe with the cutting words…

The monsters that reap the dying souls wrench through the living beast,
Finding their way to eruption of the broken souls…

To live or to die; we learn to fight the dead and fear the living.